“The One” – a cheesy, rubbish, Hollywoodism that is designed to allow people to trick themselves into a feeling of relief where guilt would instead reside. Leaving your beloved is OK, because she’s/he’s not the “one” – rather than going down that gruesome, prickly path of complete honesty. You can be happier down another path, with the actual “one.”
You’re spot on about happiness. Too many people confuse what happiness is. They think it is a way of being – that someone can be always happy. They forget that it’s an emotion. It’s actually a conversation I have often with the children in my class – that happiness is not what you can always be. You can be happy in the morning, excited in the day and sad at night. However, I tell them that they can always be positive and have an optimistic outlook.
It’s why, I think, so many people cheat or don’t work at relationships. They get bored, life gets “dull” and so they think that something is wrong and move onto the next person. Of course, the cycle simply repeats again.
The way I view it – I don’t believe there’s one person out there for everyone. It’s ridiculous (in my mind) to think that everyone has ONE person out there for them. Out of almost 7 billion people, the chances of finding one person that is the one for you is outrageous and an excuse for people to move away from loves to find another. I think there are many, many different people that can make a person happy.
As such, I think it becomes a reflection of whether or not you would be happier with someone else than you are at present. Not in the first few months (of course, they will always be exciting) but after a few years. After the highs. After the lows.
I look at my wife and I know that there’s not another person who could make me happier to be with.